GRATEFUL & THANKFUL

 

GRATEFUL & THANKFUL

Once again the holiday season is arriving and each year, especially during Thanksgiving, I like to reflect on the year as it comes to an end.

This year was an extremely joyous one for our son Logan became engaged to a very special young lady. My husband and I are doing wonderful and my brother and I continue to grow closer.  Mom turned 90 years old in August and is still able to speak and run around in her Merry Walker.

I posted two pictures (above) for as I reflect I realize how fortunate I was to have two loving and supportive parents. Although my dad passed away 20 years ago I know that I was lucky to have him for so many years.

Mom seems to be happy although most of her life's journey has all but disappeared. Alzheimer's has certainly robbed her of all memories, yet in a positive way it has also removed the negative ones that once caused her pain and heartache.

I'm thankful that my dad is not alive to be experiencing what is happening to her. I am grateful that she is still verbal as she shares words of love accompanied with a smiling face for the nurses; at the place we now call "home".

Her speech is more gibberish yet she still laughs and, at moments, surprises us with a sharp quick answer. Alzheimer's baffles me for somehow in her memory she still can spell and is able to sing the words to many songs.

I do not know how much longer mom will be able to sustain all that she now can do, certainly since she has this disease for over 10 years. So, with each day I remain grateful and thankful that however mom now is, we are still able to share our love with one another.





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CONFESSIONS...15 MINUTES OF FEAR

CONFESSIONS....15 MINUTES OF FEAR



Could it be? Can I have the start of Alzheimer's? It is more likely that I can get it since it has stricken two of my family members (mom & her brother). My odds are greater than someone else whose family has never suffered from it.  It is hereditary although that does not mean that I will get the disease.

The thought occasionally crosses my mind when I cannot remember some movie that I saw, or a famous actor's name.  I try and concentrate till I recall the names and then I feel a sense of relief.

I do not walk around worrying about getting Alzheimer's, yet I am quicker to make a joke about it to excuse my momentarily lapse of memory. I have decided not to be tested to see if I have any Amyloid plaque buildup in my brain. I am really not that brave!

So, I must confess that today for about 15 minutes I could feel the anxiety, and panicked as I searched all over my apartment for a prescription that my drugstore said they had filled 15 days ago. Could I have been so forgetful that I had no recollection of this?

I called my husband to explain the situation and to hopefully calm me down. "The drugstore said they were sure that they delivered the drug to me on October 16th and here it is October 30th. If this is true wouldn't I have at least 15 pills left? Where could they be?"

I do have a great system, after I take a pill each morning I turn the bottle sideways in my medicine cabinet so I am sure that I took it. If this was the case I would be taking 2 pills a day for the last 2 weeks since no pills remained.

After my panic attack subsided and I was once again able to think clearly I called the drugstore back and with security said " I searched my home all over and do not have the pills." The pharmacist then said that I was correct, since they checked their records and it was never signed out or delivered to me.

As I took a deep long breath and cleared my head, my anxiousness subsided and I was able to feel "relief" that for "now" I was safe and free of this disease.




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