Wednesday, May 28, 2014

WITH EVERY BREATH I TAKE



WITH EVERY BREATH I TAKE

If my mother could really understand, she would be so proud of her children, not that she wasn't before her illness. It's just different now. My brother and I have become closer than we ever were before. Mom's disease has bonded us with a deeper sense of love, and for me I have gained a different respect for my brother.

She is the reason for everything. She is my shining star. Mom has stirred up so many emotions, all filled with love. She has opened my eyes and world to many things that I might never have thought were possible. Without her, I never would have started writing this blog.

Yet, I am not capable to do the same for her. I miss and yearn to hear the sound of her voice, her words, her thoughts and her opinions. How I wish that she could share her feelings with me. I wonder what might still exist in her universe.

Over this holiday weekend my husband and I took a ride to the country. I cherished seeing the brilliance of blue skies and the trees as their bright lush leaves glistened in the sunshine. There was a warm breeze that felt divine as my hair swirled in circles. I was feeling alive as I embraced all the natural beauty that surrounded me.

I then thought of my mother, how she can no longer appreciate any of this. Because of Alzheimer's her eyes can no longer recognize the glorious blue skies, nor the lush trees. I started thinking that her world has been robbed from her. It is no longer just her memory, but the simple beautiful things in life that no longer exist for her. I drifted into thinking, what sort of existence is this?

I know that ones life can end in a split second. With Alzheimer's it has been ten years that we keep watching her disappear into her world; a world that is certainly unknown.

I know that my mother is still alive yet I question, "is she"? With every breath I take I pray that  a cure will be found for this horrific disease. A disease that not only robs you from seeing the world through rose colored glasses, but destroys a life that was once worth living.


 
MY MOM MY HERO is for all the special people in your lives. Over 150 great reviews.

Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.

http://www.amazon.com/Mom-Hero-Alzheimers-A-daughters-bittersweet/dp/0615773982/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389797650&sr=8-1&keywords=lisa+hirsch

 

Thursday, May 15, 2014

SENTIMENTAL FEELINGS


SENTIMENTAL FEELINGS

As I sat down to write my blog post I started thinking about this past Sunday, when it was Mother's Day. Mine was a special one, since I was able to celebrate and be with my son.

Of course I missed seeing my mom and called the nursing home several times trying to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.  I was unable to reach her, yet I did speak to the nurse and asked her to please send mom my love and kisses. In truth it did not really matter for mom would not understand what I was speaking about.

The distance between us keeps us apart, although I think that I was missing more the pieces of mom that are no longer present. I missed the laughter and conversations that we once shared. I missed being able to call her and describe what was happening in my life.

I wanted to get away from feeling unhappy, so I decided to choose a picture for my blog that would bring me some joy.  I picked a picture of my mother and father from the mid eighties. Logan, my son was around three years old, and mom and dad in their early sixties. These were very happy times, ones that I love to recall and reminisce about.

Today mom's journey is so different. She is slipping away more each day, and dad passed away over nineteen years ago. Life seems to go round in circles, the young grow up, we become older, as life continues to moves on. 

I choose to focus on the brighter days, ones that were filled with a love so pure and strong. I hope that the memories I have of my parents will remain with me. I want to cherish whatever life I have left, and to feel as much happiness that each day can bring.

Today is a gift for no one knows what tomorrow holds. So let's try to celebrate our lives and not hold on to the things that are troubling us.

I wish that I could take away mom's Alzheimer's and bring her back to whole, yet I cannot. Having the strength to be thankful for what we have, is certainly a gift that I want to treasure.


 
MY MOM MY HERO is for all the special people in your lives. Over 150 great reviews.

Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.

http://www.amazon.com/Mom-Hero-Alzheimers-A-daughters-bittersweet/dp/0615773982/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389797650&sr=8-1&keywords=lisa+hirsch

Thursday, May 1, 2014

WHAT IS A MOTHER?



WHAT IS A MOTHER?


If we asked the question what is a mother, there would be quite a few different answers, though most would be filled with love.

 I have found some that I would like to share:
"A mother is someone who loves unconditionally and places the needs of her children above her own, on a personal level, and not only with words, but also actions."

"A mother is someone who loves you and who cares for you in every way. She sits down and listens to what you have to say."

"A mother is the one who loves, nurtures, raises, finds puzzle pieces, helps with homework, kisses booboos, and reads bedtime stories".

"Choosing to adopt is sometimes an agonizing decision, but such a great one. Providing a child with love and a home, what could be better? Mother can be a birth mom, technically. To be a mommy, that is the real privilege."

"Mother is the woman who raises you, who is there for you to hold and comfort you when you are sick or hurt, the woman who laughs with you, who cries with you, who loves you, even when you aren't exactly lovable, for whatever reason. This is a"real"mother."

"There are many descriptions of the word mother, and many are applicable. Only those with "closed eyes" can't see that there are many meanings to "mother." A person who gives birth is a mother. A person who raises a child is mother. A person who loves and cares for a child is a mother."

"Being a mother is the hardest job in the world!"

Each one of us who has a mother with Alzheimer's, or has lost a mother to Alzheimer's, or any other illness, know that they will always be our mother. The love they feel in their hearts for us, whether they can express it or not, will always remain.

As my mom drifts further and further away and our roles have reversed, it is a privilege for me to love, cherish and care for her as she had done for me. I myself am a mother, I know so well that being a mother is one of the hardest and most rewarding jobs in the world!

Please take a moment and reflect ,with a smile on your face and joy in your heart, of how lucky we are to have had our mothers. This disease might have stolen them from us, yet not all the love that they have showed us.

Although my mom most likely has no idea what Mother's Day means, I want to share with her all the love I have in my heart for her, today and forever. For all the other mothers I wish you all a very Happy Mother's Day.


MY MOM MY HERO book is dedicated to my mother and yours.  Over 150 great reviews.

Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.

http://www.amazon.com/Mom-Hero-Alzheimers-A-daughters-bittersweet/dp/0615773982/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389797650&sr=8-1&keywords=lisa+hirsch